The Sour Pack - Part 1 of 3

Another couples weeks will be our 2007 PIG CNY, and I started my cleaning and tidy chores at home. I picked-up and threw some of my old book collections and the ones I must keep are Ronald Chu’s comics book writing, which entitled “The Sour Pack” series. After long never read, yet much fun of reading them, I still finds his amazing pieces of writing is sharp wit, humour, entertaining yet realistically reflects our cycle of life, i.e. from being single to have partner, from loneliness to happiness, and from happiness to disaster… and which I categorized in several classes for fun reading…. I hope to get some inspirations from reading it and for those who enjoy reading it too.


As Ronald Chu writes:

• GOD
  1. God says: “I created man and woman. What
  about you?” The Devil says: “I suggested that they marry.”
  2. God took a break after creating man and woman, but after that, woman never gave man a break.

• MEN
  3. Men are luxuries of women
  4. All men are born equal. It is marriage that makes them unequal.
  5. Men should sympathise with women who cry and beware of women who smile
  6. No man is safe, except those who have put all their assets in your name.
  7. Stay away from men who can’t afford to pay for your drinks and those who force you to drink.
  8. Men like to fake drunkenness, but beware of women who are better drinkers than you.
  9. Since man lost his rib, he has been paying woman to get it back.
  10. Men are divided into those wanted and those unwanted by women.
  11. A married man has a wife but no money. An unmarried man has no wife or money.
  12. Man cannot forget his first love, just like the hunter who finds his first prey most memorable.
  13. If a man doesn’t know how to lie to a woman, he is not good enough to be someone’s husband.
  

• WOMAN
  14. Women are necessities of men
  15. All women are troublesome, except those you have gotten rid of.
  16. Beautiful women are often surrounded by ordinary men. So stay away from beautiful women
  17. To a woman, her bank is a rich husband
  18. A woman’s “No” is more valuable than her “Yes”
  19. Women like honest men, but the line between honesty and stupidity is a fine one
  20.Most women are not realistic. If they were, they would have dumped you
  21.A quiet woman can often give the most unexpected and sarcastic remark in a quarrel.
  22. When a woman changes her style of dressing, she is tired of you, but if she doesn’t change, you may grow tired of her.
  23. The price of a woman’s clothes can only go up. So, the first dress you buy for her should be her cheapest.
  24. Woman need to live with men because they cannot live alone or with other women.
  25. There is always a woman to prove and point out the stupidity of a man.
  26. A woman wants love but she may not get if from any lover.
  27. Women like to believe their own lies and truth spoken by others.
  There are many women but only few lovers.
  28. A woman’s attractiveness always equals her resistance.
  29. Women spend half the time watching men, the other half looking at themselves.
  

• MEN and WOMEN
  30. Men and women are equal before marriage. After that, man is lower at least by a grade.
  31. The truth about men and women is that they have no differences, yet they still hope to be different.
  32. There’re three kinds of people in this world: Man, woman and lover
  
  


• ROMANCE
  33. Romance is like life’s fertilizers. It stinks when there is too much.
  34. Romance is the past, marriage the present and a third party in the future.
  35. All lovers believe their romance is unique until they are married.
  36. The honeymoon is like the announcement before end of a romance.
  37. The shorter the time you spend with your date, the greater the expenditure.
  

• LOVE
  38. Love all; it is easier than loving only your wife.
  39. Don’t be deceived by love’s promises. If in doubt, don’t marry.
  40. The lover who leaves you is often someone you love too much.
  41. All lovers believe their romance is unique until they are married.
  42. There is no theory in love because those with the theories are busy being in love
  43. Your ex-lover’s telephone call often comes on the first day your new girlfriend steps into your apartment.
  44. Love often blossoms among good friends. If you want a lover, you must give up your friend.
  45. Fear not when you lover appears, but whether her husband will appear also.
  46. Love is simply the condition before a man and woman satisfy themselves physically.
  47. Facts without theory are love. Theory without facts is marriage.
  48. The simplest way to cure your ill-tempered lover is to change your lover.
  49. To be a lover, you must be attractive. To be a wife, you must have a good money.
  50. Love is innocent. It’s those in love who do wrong repeatedly.
  51. Love is like the foreword in a book, often unrealistic and full of self-praise.
  52. Love is something you can’t see or smell but something you can feel. 53. Marriage is something you can see and smell but can’t feel.
  54. True love or marriage begins when silence creeps in between a couple.

• LOVE and MARRIAGE
  55. Those who object violently to marriage are often who are married.
  56. When someone is bored with life, they either get married or seek a divorce
  57. Love depends on one’s feelings. Marriage lives on the pressure from realities of life.
  58. The greatest enemy of love and marriage is not meanness but habits.
  59. In life, you have to choose between marriage and love because you can never have both.
  60. Love depends on one’s feelings. Marriage lives on the pressure from realities of life.
  
  

• MARRIAGE
  61. The bridegroom is the final winner and the first lost.
  62. Marriage is not a destiny, it is a choice.
  63. If Snow White married the seven dwarfs, there will be no fairly tales in this world but true love.
  64. Love is something you can’t see or smell but something you can feel. 65. Marriage is something you can see and smell but can’t feel.
  66. The biggest discovery about marriage is: “You know it’s no big deal only after going into it.”
  67. A married man has a wife but no money. An unmarried man has no wife or money.
  68. Strangely, when everyone starts to believe in marriage again, the love of the century will disappear.
  69. Facts without theory are love. Theory without facts is marriage.
  70. If all your relatives support your marriage you’d better change your mind.
  
  

• GIRLFRIEND
  
  71. Your girlfriend often cancels the date after you have bathed and changed.
  72. Your girlfriend is always a beauty before the both of you met.
  73. Even if you’re right, nobody will be on your side when you quarrel with your girlfriend.
  74. If someone ran away with your girlfriend, don’t despair because he will return her to you within three months.
  75. A good girl is someone whom man cannot find to marry and whom no woman will like to become.
  76. Whenever you have a disagreement with your girlfriend in the car, you’re bound to be in a traffic jam.
  
  


• WIFE
  77. Shocks are the effect of seeing the little tag from your wife’s new dress.
  78. The angel is in all other women except your wife.
  79. Your wife will always have the last word after a quarrel.
  80. An old flame is better than a new wife.
  
  


• HUSBAND
  81. All husbands are the same; the difference is how they’re managed by their wives.
  82. If a man doesn’t know how to lie to a woman, he is not good enough to be someone’s husband.
  
  

CAUTION: Men and women, boyfriends and girlfriend, husband and wife are to take note on Ronald Chu's 82 rules before masculine vs feminine war happen!